Over the last few months, I have jotted down notes for all the Holy Life Holey Wife blog posts I plan to write. Great ideas all, but not tantalizing enough to make me put my seat in the seat and actually write them.
Sorry about that!
I’ve blogged before about my penchant for busy-ness. I’ve blogged often about my desire to do less even as I take on more. To paraphrase Paul, “Oh wretched woman that I am! Chief among the Multi-taskers!” It’s a sickness, really.
So like most things in my life, I made it a matter for prayer. And God answers prayer. And in His answer (and wisdom) turns life upside down sometimes because He’s God and we’re not and He knows what is best for us.
Personally, if the Holy Spirit had a job opening, I’d apply. I love to figure out how life should be and how God should answer prayers and give helpful advice to others! (Can I get a Hallelujah and Amen that the Holy Spirit is doing just fine without my help?)
So Man-of-my-Dreams and I had been praying about the hurry sickness and busy-ness and over-committed life we found ourselves in. We prayed, fully expecting an answer. We prayed with the knowledge that even though we were doing lots of good stuff, neither of us was actually fulfilling our calling.
It’s a seductive place to be—in the public eye doing things which you like to do and that others like you to do and give you great accolades for doing vs the solitary place of fulfilling your calling for the Audience of One.
So we prayed. Knowing He would answer. Knowing life had to change. Knowing it might not be easy breezy, but that it would be good because God is good.
On April 17th, my He-Man hubby was brought to his knees with pain. Thought he’d tweaked his rotator cuff working out that morning with a weighted exercise ball. Squeezing pain down his arm and up his neck and oh! Did I mention pouring sweat like he’d run a marathon? We were in the office of Cuppa Joe Espresso with plans for the day. The plans stopped while I took him to the hospital. No problem, all is well. Normal EKG. Normal labs. Being the persuasive guy he is, he convinced the PA he should leave because he had things to do and could come back if the pain returned. A sudden dizzy spell caused her to keep him overnight.
An episode of pain the next morning bought him a one way ticket to a larger hospital, a heart cath and Open Heart Surgery the Monday after Easter.
We look back and see the fingerprints of God molding our lives, orchestrating events, keeping him safe before and through the surgery (the surgeon said he was a heart attack looking for a place to happen–but it didn’t. He had no damage to his heart before surgery—a miracle with 5 life giving arteries severely blocked.)
With an out of control life comes out of control behaviors—less than stellar diets (that full fat latte each day from your very own Espresso machine!), too little exercise and lack of sleep. We had been making changes but stress and the physical laws that God has put into place made it too little, too late.
But Grace. But God!
I didn’t cry much. I am an emotional hot mess over small things—I cry when I am sad, mad and glad, but when faced with a challenge, I am my father’s daughter. I don’t cry. I dig down and take care of business– whatever it takes.
But on Father’s Day, I cried. Remembering losing my Dad two years ago makes Father’s Day bittersweet. I cried, so grateful that Man of my Dreams was here to be honored by our kids. Our Father’s Day could have been so different.
So blessed to love this man. So grateful to share life with him. So excited to have more days to laugh together and to see our kids lives unfold. (Did I mention that there are 3 Zweygardt kids who are college graduates as of May 2014? And all have jobs? Can I get an Amen?)
April 21st, Man of my Dreams and I had prayed together. The title of our devotional was, “God, surprise me!” and we prayed that prayer together. “Surprise us, Lord!” and He did. (Just so you know I’m not super spiritual. God and I had a little discussion over the “surprise” since what I had in mind was an all expense paid trip to somewhere beachy, not this!)
We had been stepping away from some things already. We hadn’t finalized the sale of Cuppa Joe but a verbal agreement had been reached. We thought we’d have a big party and go out with a bang, but instead our last day in the coffee shop ended that Thursday when I walked to the kitchen and said, “I’m taking Kary to the ER.” Not what we planned but since we prayed and trusted we know it was His plan.
Someone asked Kary what he had learned through this. He answered that he knows God is intimately involved in every detail of our lives. We can see now where He was at work in the months before this, but we didn’t see it then. He is trustworthy so why do we worry? And He will surprise us when we ask.
“So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.Matthew 6:34